On curiosity, changing interests and the pressure to find the one thing that makes us feel fulfilled.
We hear it often enough, find your passion, do what you love. Follow your interests and somehow, everything else will fall into place.
It's an appealing idea, and perhaps a well-intentioned one. The suggestion there’s something, one thing or maybe a few things we’ve been put on earth to do, something that will give our days meaning and make the decisions about how we spend our time a little more enjoyable.
I've started wondering however, whether we've placed too much importance on the idea of finding our passion. The language itself suggests that passion is something waiting to be discovered. That there is a particular calling, interest or pursuit that, once identified, will provide a sense of fulfilment and clarity. As though we're all supposed to arrive at a point where everything suddenly makes sense. Yet, as most of us come to know by a certain age, life rarely unfolds quite so neatly.
Our interests change. The things that once captivated us can lose their appeal, while something entirely unexpected can open up a new world of curiosity. What feels meaningful at one stage of life may look quite different at another, and sometimes, the things that bring us the greatest satisfaction are not necessarily the things we would have thought to pursue.
Perhaps the problem isn't that we haven't found our passion, perhaps it's the expectation that we should have one in the first place.
The pressure to find our thing
Somewhere along the way, passion became closely associated with purpose, particularly when it came to work. We're encouraged to find work we love, build a life around our interests and pursue something that feels deeply fulfilling. There is certainly value in wanting our work to mean something, but when passion becomes the measure against which we assess our choices and fulfilment, it can also create an unnecessary amount of pressure.
Not every interest needs to become a business, in fact I’ve had a number of conversations lately with people who’ve turned their interests aka passions into businesses only to discover it completely drained every inkling of enjoyment out of that very thing. Suggesting not every talent needs to be developed into something more, and not every aspect of life needs to contribute to some larger sense of purpose.
There is after all something rather liberating about allowing ourselves to enjoy things simply because we enjoy them. A conversation that leaves us thinking differently. An afternoon spent learning something new. A creative pursuit that has no particular outcome. A subject we find ourselves returning to, simply because it interests us.
These things may never become our defining passion, but they can add considerable depth and enjoyment to our lives.
Passion isn't always a starting point
We tend to talk about passion as though it comes first, followed by the action. Find what you love, then pursue it, but I wonder whether it often works the other way around.
Sometimes interest develops through participation. We try something for the first time, discover we enjoy it, maybe we’re even good at it, meet people who share that interest and gradually find ourselves drawn further in. What begins as curiosity can become something much more significant over time. It might be a new skill, a different working environment, a creative outlet or simply a willingness to explore something outside our usual routines.
The enjoyment isn't necessarily immediate, nor is the direction always obvious. Sometimes we need to spend a little time in unfamiliar territory before we understand how it feels, what it offers us and what we can contribute. There’s something to be said for experience over ruminating, as a client once said to me during a context related chat ‘when you’re in your head, you’re dead’, and perhaps this is where experience becomes so valuable. The more we expose ourselves to different ideas, environments and possibilities, the more we learn about what engages us, what gives us energy and what we want more of.
Not everything will stick, and that's part of the process. There is no requirement for every new interest to become a lasting pursuit.
Allowing ourselves to evolve
I think this becomes particularly interesting as we move through different stages of life. The things that once occupied much of our attention can begin to take up less space. Priorities shift, circumstances change and the measures of success we once relied upon may no longer feel quite as relevant. It doesn't necessarily mean we've lost our ambition or sense of direction, sometimes it simply means we're becoming more aware of what we want from our time, our energy and our experiences.
We might find ourselves drawn to something we had little interest in previously. We might rediscover an old interest that had been quietly set aside or develop an entirely new appreciation for things we previously overlooked. There is a certain freedom in recognising that we don't have to remain attached to an earlier version of ourselves.
Perhaps we don't need to find that one thing that defines us and delivers all the joy, perhaps we need to remain open to the things that also catch our interest, challenge and inspire us along the way.
A life of many interests
I like the idea that a fulfilling and rich life isn’t necessarily hinged on a single defining passion or purpose. It can be made up of an overlapping contrast of things, some significant and others quite ordinary. Meaningful work, relationships that matter, movement that makes us feel good, creative interests, new experiences and the simple pleasure of having something to look forward to. Not everything needs to connect or contribute to a carefully constructed picture of who we are.
In fact, perhaps some of the most interesting parts of life happen when we allow ourselves to follow a curiosity without knowing exactly where it might lead. We can be ambitious without having one all-consuming purpose or even career. We can enjoy our work without expecting it to fulfil every part of us. And we can explore new interests without needing to justify where they might take us.
Maybe the question isn't ‘Have I found my passion’? Perhaps it's a more open-ended one.
What am I curious about? What would I like to explore? What brings a little more interest, enjoyment or meaning into my everyday life? Because perhaps passion isn't a destination we're all supposed to arrive at.
Perhaps it's something that develops as we live, learn, experience and allow ourselves to change, and there is something rather lovely about leaving a little room for that.
